My Cat’s Morning Screams™️, Translated
What I think my cat is trying to tell me at the crack of dawn. Every. Single. Morning.
My four-year-old Siamese cat, Fonzie — Arthur Fonzarelli when he’s in trouble — wakes up anywhere between 4 a.m. and 6 a.m. to begin his patented Morning Screams™️, i.e. the screams he does in the morning. They are, simultaneously, declarations and curiosities (I assume). Here’s what I think he’s saying:
It’s been dark out for a long time!
Will the big light ever come back?!
I can’t remember what it feels like to be pet!
Come quick! The big light outside is back!
Help! There’s a bird I can’t get to!
Are your hands broken?!
There’s a ghost above you!
I’m all alone in this one room!
Do you think the bird wants to be my friend?!
The food is gone!!!
I have a burning desire to learn how to read!
Where did all this food come from?!
Did you know there’s another me in this window thing?!
What if I never have a new place to sit ever again?!
I think I know how to sing!
My fur is so soft someone should touch it to confirm!
I wish I understood gravity!
Where are all these new smells coming from?!
I’m all alone in this one room!
Do you think the bird wants to be my friend?!
There’s a ghost in the bathroom!
I can’t believe how many toes I have!
Listen to how loud I can get!!!
Let it goooooo, let it goooooo! Can’t hold it back anymore!
This toy is broken!
Never mind, I figured it out!
Nope! How did it break again?!
Ok, that’s my bad, I fixed it!
I lost it!!!
This place is swamped with ghosts!
