Bastards Is Like Rick Owens For Dogs

Picture it: you’ve just dropped some serious cash on a fit from Rick Owens’s latest post-apocalyptic luxury ready-to-wear collection. You look amazing — slick and dark and chic — and you feel like a walking editorial as you stalk the streets of [insert city here].

But then you catch a glimpse of your dog, who walks alongside you, in the reflection of a store window, and the whole thing falls apart. Gorgeous as your dog is, their pink neoprene harness has seen better days, and that leash — once innocuous and maybe even a little playful — now just feels downright depressing. What to do?!

You could shop for designer dog accessories, but who wants to spend $500 on a harness your pup will likely douse in mud at the dog park on your next outing? Also, it’s cold out and a dog coat that retails for over $900 isn’t going to do anything to keep Jack Frost from nipping at your baby’s bits. Plus, anything made by an Italian design house that doesn’t specialize in dogwear and accessories will probably end up tattered and useless by the end of the month.  

What you need is something functional — but beautifully designed. Something slick and cool. Something your dog can wear for a run outdoors or just laying around in the house after a brisk walk. You need Bastards. Each piece in Bastards dogwear collection is made-to-measure, so it will fit your pupper like a couture glove. Their coats, undercoats, and bodysuits are engineered to allow freedom of movements for even the most active dogs. 

The brand’s founders created Bastards out of necessity. Their Whippet, Bruce, loved to run, but the coats he wore in colder months often left him scratched and bruised. Their thought was: “If big sportswear companies invest millions in development of sportswear for humans who run at 10 kilometers per hour, why does no one invest in our best friends who can run up to 70 kilometers per hour?” 

What they lacked in initial funding, they made up for with 10 years of experience in industrial design, a keen eye for fashion, and access to top tailors and manufacturers in their native Slovenia. The result is a tight and meticulously designed collection of dog clothes and accessories that allow for full range of motion with no pesky hot spots. The brand even designed their own hardware, so their clothes stay in place, but are still easy to put on, take off, and adjust.

And everything they make is as chic as it is functional, right down to their collars and leashes, which are made of beautifully cut black leather and black kevlar rope, respectively. Their gear can also withstand thousands of pounds of pressure while still looking absolutely fabulous.

It’s just the stuff for fashion-forward pet parents who believe their dogs deserve the same quality of design as they do themselves. It also costs a hell of a lot less than so-called designer dogwear, which means just one thing…more Rick Owens for you!

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