Oh, to see the world through my dog’s eyes. When I look at my Pittie, Banshee, I see an animal immune to life’s most distressing elements. Her food is abundant and delivered promptly each morning and night. Her veterinary care is overly accommodating and free, at least as far as she knows. But more than anything, occupational responsibilities are nowhere to be seen, allowing her to spend much of the day snuggled up sleeping — usually on or around me.
Of course, my daily stress is typically doubled to provide her with this lavish lifestyle of leisure, which only makes me envy her more. Needless to say, when I first came across a human-sized dog bed, I was intrigued. And clearly, I wasn’t the only one because brands seem to be dropping these left and right.
Is this something you actually need, though?
Now, you may be asking yourself, Why would anybody need a human dog bed when they have a perfectly fine human human bed? For one, they’re comfy as hell. Think of how many different iterations and updates human beds have seen over the past 50-ish years. There have been spring mattresses, memory foam mattresses, orthopedic beds, water beds, heated, chilled, super firm, less firm, half-and-half, etc. The list is never-ending, while dog beds have remained relatively unchanged in their basic design. They obviously know something we don’t when it comes to comfort. Plus, most of these human-size dog beds are multipurpose; they provide enough room for both you and your pup.
So, when somebody walks into your house, sees a giant dog bed that’s fit for a person, and presumably asks a similar question, you don’t have to explain all this. You can simply just act like you’re spoiling your dog with a comically large bed. I’d imagine it’s usually not far from the truth anyway. Below are the five coziest options.
Btw, our editors (and their pets) picked out these products. They’re always in stock at the time we publish, but there’s a chance they’ll sell out. If you do buy through our links, we may earn a commission. (We’ve got a lot of toys to buy over here, you know?)
Plufl was introduced to the world in a similar manner as NBA Hall of Famer Dirk Nowitzki: in front of Mark Cuban. Plufl, claimed to be the original human dog bed, kickstarted this comfy trend when it appeared on opens in a new tablate last year. Started by two recent college grads, the bed’s story might resemble a crypto bro horror story, but there are good reasons why it secured the Mavs owner’s investment.
The Plufl is made of orthopedic memory form and is over five and a half feet long. Its ultra-soft cover is designed to reduce stress and encourage sleep while being machine-washable to counter both dog and human filth. And if you don’t feel like dedicating a room to the piece, it folds in half for easy storage.
MiLounge is seemingly TikTok’s favorite human dog bed, with one video from the brand surpassing 40 million views. This postopens in a new tab includes instructions on how best to use MiLounge’s revolutionary human dog bed storage bagopens in a new tab, which essentially looks like a giant Ziploc® bag made specifically to fit one MiLounge bed.
But the bag’s “Triple-Seal Turbo Valve” allows you to vacuum seal and shrink the nap station like it’s a large piece of beef. You can then similarly store it in the garage and hopefully not forget about it for too long, as I often do with frozen meat.
PupCloud took the basic human dog bed concept and made it shag. Just as comfy as the above iterations but way groovier, this bed features a removable plush faux fur cover with waterproof memory foam lining.
Plus, it includes a built-in pocket for you to nuzzle your legs into and finally understand all the burrowing hypeopens in a new tab your dog has been going on about for years. The bed’s even equipped with a non-slip bottom if you or your pup are the type to toss and turn during naps.
Note: This bed is sold out right now, but check back on the site if you still want to make this cozy option your nap spot of choice.
Let’s say you’re fully on board with the concept of sleeping like a dog but can’t quite wrap your head around leaving the rectangle-shaped arrangement you’ve grown accustomed to.
One, weird take. Two, Funny Fuzzy’s human dog bed is for you. Apparently able to fit up to three dogs, two children, and two adults all at once, this squared bed is perfect for families who like to snuggle up together or are the bed-bound grandparents in Willy Wonka. Of course, Funny Fuzzy offers oval-shaped options as well. Not to mention, these versions can be bundled with the brand’s faux fur velvet blankets. It’s like the Paramount+ and Showtime bundle, except you’ll actually use the bed and blanket.
Measuring at three feet wide and just under six feet long, UnHide’s Floof is one of the largest human dog bed options on the market. Inspired by the brand’s renownedopens in a new tab canine-favorite Floof Donut Bedopens in a new tab, UnHide offers as close to a one-to-one comparison to snoozing on your dog’s actual bed as you’ll get.
The Floof, offers an experience most aptly described as falling asleep inside of an UGG boot. Plus, like all UnHide products, the Floof is made with 100 percent cruelty-free practices and materials.
Sean Zucker is a writer whose work has been featured in Points In Case, The Daily Drunk, Posty, and WellWell. He has an adopted Pit Bull named Banshee whose work has been featured on the kitchen floor and whose behavioral issues rival his own.
