Are Dog Licks Really Kisses? The Truth Behind Your Pup’s Slobbery Affection

Despite being obsessed with dogs my entire life, I only became a dog mum seven years ago, and the whole experience has been a huge learning curve. Like many people, I used to assume a tail wag meant a dog was happy, but my time living with my own dogs and working with reactive street dogs helped me understand this isn’t always the case.

Turns out I’m not alone – clinical animal behaviourist Emily Birch says pet parents often misinterpret dog behaviour. “I see this a lot, especially because we often add our human spin to it. I do think it’s getting better, but the misinterpretations are still there.” 

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When it comes to our dogs licking us, we’re often guilty of anthropomorphism, projecting our human emotions and behaviour onto our very much unhuman dogs, and assuming that our beloved pets are giving us kisses. Sadly, I hate to break it to you, but dogs don’t give kisses in the way humans do, because they don’t use the same body language that we do.

So, if they’re not kissing us, what are they doing? Whether it’s investigating new smells, looking for attention, or telling us to back off, here are all the reasons your dog might be licking you. 

What does dog licking actually mean? 

Gathering information

Dogs often use their tongues as tools for gathering information about the environment around them, just like they do when they’re having a good old sniff. The vomeronasal organ, or Jacobson’s organ, is a scent organ that extends from a dog’s nasal cavity into the roof of the mouth. It’s basically a secondary sense of smell that allows them to detect chemical signals from other animals – including us. They use their tongues to draw this information into their mouths, before it’s processed by the vomeronasal organ, then interpreted by the brain. Cool, huh?

“Dogs lick as part of communication and investigation, starting when they’re puppies,” explains dog trainer, Joe Nutkins. “They can quickly start a pattern of licking us while finding out that our skin has a taste and texture, our hair has its own texture, and our hands have various tastes depending on what we’ve been doing. Once a pattern is set this can follow a dog into adulthood and the rest of their lives.” 

My greedy dog Lucy loves to try and shove her tongue in my mouth after I’ve eaten, especially if curry was on the menu. (Sri Lankan street dog problems). To the untrained eye, this looks like an attempt at a passionate snog, but Birch says the reality of dogs licking our mouths is that they’re trying to drink in all those delicious food smells. (I’m also convinced that Lucy’s trying to draw the food out of my stomach…)

Plus, ever noticed that your dog especially loves licking you after you’ve stepped out of the shower or slathered yourself in body lotion? “Dogs are attracted to the new tastes or scents of our bath salts, shower gels and creams,“ explains Nutkins. 

Salt-seeking behaviour

Does your dog give you a good once-over with their tongue when you come back from the gym? As above, it could be that they’re trying to interpret your new stench, but it could also be a sneaky way of increasing their sodium intake via the salt in your sweat.

“Your dog might instinctively know that they need something within their diet, believing they can get it from licking a specific person’s leg or arm due to their scent,” says Nutkins. However, don’t go adding salt to your dog’s food if you see them doing this – dog food should provide the correct amount of sodium, so speak to your vet if you're worried about potential deficiencies. 

Grooming 

Dogs lick themselves as a way to clean and groom, and Birch says they might be doing the same to us – cute. Dogs groom each other as a form of social bonding, so in doing this to a human, it could be seen as a sign of affection.

Attention-seeking and habit reinforcement

If you praise your dog, show that you’re happy, or chat to them (even if it’s telling them to stop), every time they lick you, your dog will keep doing it as they’ve learned that it gets them attention. Nutkins says this behaviour will then become a routine that happens at certain times, like when we’re tired, during a snuggle or while we’re working: “Unless redirected, it will become habit.” So, while this can be a way of showing affection – if the desired result is belly rubs, it means a dog wants to spend time with you – it’s not the same as kissing.

Appeasement

Does your dog tend to lick you more after they’ve been told off? Birch says that dogs are likely to be licking you to keep the peace if it happens post-conflict. Historically, dogs have used appeasement behaviours with each other, like looking away, lip-licking, and raising one paw, and domestic dogs have learned to use these with us, too. 

Self-soothing

“Dogs will lick as a way to sooth and comfort themselves; for example if anxious, unsettled or confused by a situation,” advises Nutkins. “Self soothing by licking isn't just with people but can be on a toy, wall, flooring or even the sofa.” Other signs that your dog is feeling anxious might include lip-licking, approaching with a lowered body, and performing an ‘appeasement grin’ (where they appear to be ‘smiling’, while squinting their eyes and holding their ears back). “While licking makes them feel better, I’ve definitely seen dogs who do this obsessively, and it’s an indicator of them not feeling great,” warns Birch.

Soothing us

My other dog, Sherlock, isn’t much of a licker, but he often comes over and gives me a face slurp when I’m crying. This could be an appeasement behaviour if he’s unsettled by the weird, sad vibes I’m giving off (dogs can smell our stress), but he could also be showing empathy. Say what? In a (admittedly rather old) study from 2012, domestic dogs approached both their pet parents and strangers more when they pretended to cry, rather than when they were talking or humming. Researchers said their behaviour was consistent with expressions of empathy, and previous research backs up that domestic dogs have some capacity to empathise with humans. 

However, they also noted that it could stem from being rewarded for approaching distressed human companions in the past. Bummer.

Telling us they need space

Now, this one might break your heart – a quick lick from your dog could actually be their way of telling you to back off. Known as ‘kiss to dismiss’, Birch says it’s when they move into our face, give a quick lick and then turn their face away from us. “It’s often seen when pet parents approach their dogs to give them a kiss when they’re resting,” she explains. “People see it as a kiss back, but it’s actually them saying, ‘Please leave me alone’”. Next time this happens to you, give your dog space – if they proceed to approach you for cuddles, you’ve got the go-ahead to continue smothering them with love.

So, there you have it. While dogs don’t use licks to kiss us in the same way that we kiss them, their licks can be a way of showing affection, by way of grooming you, comforting you, or asking for cuddles. Multiple online sources claim that dogs release endorphins when they lick you, though I couldn’t find any research to back this up. However, we do know that human interaction can increase levels of oxytocin (the love hormone) in dogs, which might also encourage them to lick us. The key takeaway here though is that licks aren’t always a positive thing — taking a step back to assess each individual context of licking will improve our pets’ wellbeing and our relationships with them. 

When to call the vet

If your dog’s started licking excessively (whether it’s you, themselves, or an inanimate object), it could be a sign that they’re in pain or experiencing emotional distress. Be sure to speak to your vet, especially if you’ve also noticed other changes in behaviour. 

References

• Berg, Päivi, et al. “Olfaction in the Canine Cognitive and Emotional Processes: From Behavioral and Neural Viewpoints to Measurement Possibilities.” Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, vol. 157, Dec. 2023, p. 105527.

• Pedretti, Giulia, et al. “Appeasement Function of Displacement Behaviours? Dogs’ Behavioural Displays Exhibited Towards Threatening and Neutral Humans.” Animal Cognition, vol. 26, no. 3, Jan. 2023, pp. 943–52. 

• Firnkes, Angelika, et al. “Appeasement Signals Used by Dogs During Dog–human Communication.” Journal of Veterinary Behavior, vol. 19, Jan. 2017, pp. 35–44.

• Parr-Cortes, Z., et al. “The Odour of an Unfamiliar Stressed or Relaxed Person Affects Dogs’ Responses to a Cognitive Bias Test.” Scientific Reports, vol. 14, no. 1, July 2024. 

• Custance, Deborah, and Jennifer Mayer. “Empathic-like Responding by Domestic Dogs (Canis Familiaris) to Distress in Humans: An Exploratory Study.” Animal Cognition, vol. 15, no. 5, May 2012, pp. 851–59. 

• Silva, Karine, and Liliana De Sousa. “‘Canis Empathicus’? A Proposal on Dogs’ Capacity to Empathize With Humans.” Biology Letters, vol. 7, no. 4, Feb. 2011, pp. 489–92.

• Rehn, Therese, et al. “Dogs’ Endocrine and Behavioural Responses at Reunion Are Affected by How the Human Initiates Contact.” Physiology & Behavior, vol. 124, Oct. 2013, pp. 45–53.

• Mills, Daniel S., et al. “Behavior Problems Associated With Pain and Paresthesia.” Veterinary Clinics of North America Small Animal Practice, vol. 54, no. 1, Sept. 2023, pp. 55–69.