How to Tell Someone They’re Not Treating Their Dog Right

Have you ever witnessed a dog who’s not being treated right? Deciding whether to speak up is one of the most uncomfortable things an animal lover can come up against. I mean, is it even our place to say something about someone else’s dog? The short answer is that your reaction should be tailored to the severity of the mistreatment, as there’s a big difference between outright cruelty and unintentional neglect (let’s be real – we’ve all likely made mistakes when it comes to our dogs).

If you see a dog in immediate danger, it’s best to call the RSPCA or police rather than wading in, as these guys are trained to handle such situations. However, if you’re witnessing a well-meaning pet parent inadvertently putting their dog in harm’s way because they don’t know any better? Then it might be worth saying something. 

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But how? It’s crucial that you tread carefully in a gentle, non-judgemental manner, remembering that the goal is to improve life for the dog in question, rather than point the finger and shame the human. In all honesty, there’s no easy way to navigate this situation, so we’ve compiled a guide to help you decide whether to say something if a dog’s being mistreated, how to approach someone about their dog, and, crucially, when to back off. Let’s do this.

Why this is such a hard conversation to have 

Look, we’re not going to beat around the bush here – this is awkward. Will the recipient be offended at you offering unsolicited pet advice or will they be receptive to your feedback? If someone’s unknowingly doing something that’s not good for their dog, they might feel ashamed or embarrassed at having this pointed out to them (I know I would), which could result in an uncomfortable situation for all concerned. 

“These kinds of conversations can trigger defensiveness,” explains Krista Walker, licensed therapist and clinical director at The Ohana Luxury Addiction Treatment Center. “People often view caring for their pet as part of their personality, and when that identity is threatened, a person may become defensive, so these conversations should be handled carefully.” Copy that.

However, is a few minutes of discomfort better than kicking yourself afterwards for not saying something? After all, the biggest loser in that scenario is the dog. 

Is this an emergency or an education moment? 

OK, so if a dog’s being physically abused or you can see that they’re being neglected to the point where they’re extremely distressed or unwell, it’s time to step aside and call the big guns (more on that below). If it’s something less immediately life-threatening, like using a choke chain, not walking a dog enough or forcing the dog into a situation where they’re showing signs of anxiety, this is something that a careful conversation could address. 

When to report rather than approach 

When it comes to signs of cruelty, serious or intentional neglect, or where it’s clear a dog is being used for fighting, you should contact the professionals rather than confronting the person yourself. Don’t put yourself in harm’s way – if someone’s willing to hurt an animal, they’re probably not the sort of person you want to be confronting. 

Depending on your location, you can contact the RSPCA (England and Wales), SSPCA (Scotland), or USPCA (Northern Ireland). For animals in immediate danger, it’s best to call the police for a rapid response. Worried about a dog who’s not being looked after properly or being kept in poor conditions? Your local dog warden should be able to help with any ongoing concerns (use Google to find one in your area).

What the Professionals Would Do – 5 Expert Perspectives 

To help us have these conversations with fellow pet parents, we asked five dog-related experts what they’d do in this potentially sticky situation. Would they speak up? Or are there times where they’d let it go? Let’s find out.

Pia Dodd, veterinary nurse

“If it was a total stranger in the street I might not say anything because often that’s confrontational and will lead to the person being defensive instead of listening. If it was a friend or even a friend of a friend I would definitely say something, and I’d frame it around why a dog needs certain things, rather than what the person’s doing wrong. I find that people often do things like use choke chains or shout at their dog because they want what’s best for their pet rather than because they’re being intentionally cruel. Sometimes people just aren’t aware of other options, so this can be an opportunity to gently educate. 

“If I saw an increase of mistreatment in the area where I live, I’d encourage education in my vet clinic through posters or puppy parties, which would better educate pet parents about what dogs need to learn, rather than using negative reinforcers.” 

Vanessa, dog behaviourist, ex-street dog specialist, and founder of Spicy Dogs Behaviour

“Yes, I would almost always say something. In my experience, one piece of advice delivered kindly can make a real difference to a dog’s welfare. Most guardians genuinely love their dogs and are doing the best they can with the knowledge and tools they have at the time. So I approach these moments with empathy rather than judgement, because shame creates defensiveness, and defensiveness blocks learning.

“If I saw someone pulling their dog along on a lead or forcing them into a situation where they were visibly distressed, I might say something like, ‘I could be wrong, but it looks like he’s feeling a bit unsure. Sometimes when dogs resist like that, it’s overwhelm rather than stubbornness.’

“I try to gently point out what I’m observing, for example tense body language, avoidance, lip licking, tucked in tail, etc. and help the person step into their dog’s paws for a moment. I also acknowledge how frustrating these situations can feel – when people feel understood instead of criticised, they’re far more open to changing their approach, and that’s where real welfare improvements can begin. In my field, compassion and education are often the most powerful tools.”

A spokesperson for the RSPCA 

“Seeing something you feel is not in a dog’s best interests can be upsetting and difficult. It’s natural to want to step in, and people have a really important role to play in helping us share positive animal welfare advice. But we would always urge people to prioritise their own safety and avoid putting themselves at risk.

“If you witness what appears to be physical harm, or the dog is in immediate danger, you can report concerns to the police, or the RSPCA. If you are in a safe position to do so, then you could record the evidence, while being mindful that direct intervention could escalate the situation. 

“For non-urgent situations, or if the owner is someone you know, it’s important to remain respectful of an individual’s situation, so approaching with empathy can make a real difference. There may be underlying reasons, such as changes in circumstances, the ongoing cost of living crisis, or a lack of awareness, but the welfare of animals should always be a priority. That’s why taking opportunities (in non-confrontational settings) to share reliable information can be helpful. Signposting to trusted sources of advice, such as the RSPCA website, which offer practical guidance on responsible pet ownership and animal welfare, can often be a great place to start.”

Nina Fotara, holistic gun dog trainer and founder of Confident Canine

“Yes, I would absolutely say something, but how I say it is crucial. I’ve approached a stranger in the park who was repeatedly yanking his reactive rescue dog’s lead – rather than confront him, I asked how he was getting on and listened first. Once there was a connection, I gently explained that there are modern, evidence-based approaches to reactivity that reduce stress rather than escalate it, and offered a free phone chat. If you challenge someone’s beliefs without building rapport, they become defensive and the dog ultimately loses out.

“With clients, the principle is similar, although safety sometimes requires firmer boundaries. If equipment poses a genuine risk, I calmly explain what could happen and won’t allow training to continue that way. Often, I help owners join the dots in real time, noticing how tone, tension or tools affect their dog. When people see the impact for themselves, change follows, they normally leave the session planning to replace equipment with better options, or trying to adjust their tone/interactions etc.

“I find that it’s less about whether it’s a stranger versus a friend and more about reading the individual, and being non-judgemental rather than shaming.”

Rob-Denis O’Riordan, pet parent

“I’ve been on the receiving end of someone telling me I wasn’t treating my dog well, and it wasn’t pretty. I once had a vet tell me off as I hadn’t had my Chihuahua spayed before turning six months old. He was really rude and implied I was a bad pet parent as not having her done by then can cause cancer. Harry was my first dog, so I wasn’t aware of this; I did end up getting her spayed not long after that conversation, but I would have appreciated having this information delivered in a kinder manner, especially from a veterinary professional. Being accused of not caring about the thing I love most in the world was a hard pill to swallow. Of course, I was grateful for the information, but not for the judgement and accusations, as it was a genuine mistake on my part.” 

How to Have the Conversation Without It Going Wrong 

The main takeaway from our panel of experts is that you should focus the conversation on the dog, which therapist Krista agrees with. “Instead of correcting the person, start with concern,” she advises. “Don’t focus on what they’re doing wrong; talk about the dog’s experience.”

According to Tyana Tavakol, a licensed family and marriage therapist at Uncovering You, it’s also important to first check if the recipient is open to hearing what you have to say. If they’re not? “Let it go, as they’re clearly telling you they don’t want to change,” she warns. 

Tyana suggests starting with a positive before telling someone how you think their dog is being affected, before letting them tell their side of the story. “When we try to educate someone without hearing their perspective, this can lead to people feeling like they’re being lectured, which can trigger defensiveness or shutting down.”

What If the Person Gets Defensive or Aggressive? 

So, you followed the above steps and your words landed like a tonne of vomit – what next? If someone becomes defensive or aggressive, Tyana suggests reiterating your positive intention and lack of blame, and offering a pause in the conversation. She advises saying something like: "I can feel this is getting tense and I just want to make sure you know my intention is to share what's been coming up for me and talk about it with you. I can see that you care for your dog, I can see you love them, I just love dogs too and can get passionate about sharing what I know, but if it feels I'm overstepping please let me know and I'll step back".

If someone starts disagreeing with what you’re saying and shows no sign of opening up or softening after a few attempts from you? “This is a good indication to stop,” advises Tyana. “Big flags that it’s time to walk away include vocal volume continuing to increase, language starting to get more aggressive (such as putting down your character or attacking you), or any threats of physical violence including body language, such as puffing up their chest or moving toward you.”

It’s wise to remember that just because someone reacts negatively, it doesn’t mean your advice won’t land, so you may still have done a good thing. 

What If It's Someone You Know? 

Broaching this topic with someone you know, like a friend, family, or neighbour, can be hard because if it goes tits up? You still have to see them again and it could affect your relationship. It might be worth backing off sooner if they’re not receptive, as you’ll likely have the chance to try again at a later date. Tyana also stresses the importance of leading with a positive that you actually believe, which can soften them into receiving advice. She suggests saying something along the lines of: “I know you love your dog a lot and I can see how much your dog loves you. When I hear your dog is often at home alone for 12 hours, I start to get nervous because I worry about them not getting a chance to relieve themself outside the home."

What Counts as Mistreatment? A Quick Reference 

Mistreatment might be unintentional and caused by a lack of education, but regardless of the intention, it’s still mistreatment. This can include:

• Using choke chains or shock collars

• Leaving dogs in cars in warm weather

• Not providing adequate exercise or mental stimulation 

• Leaving dogs alone for excessive periods

• Inadequate socialisation

• Delaying taking a dog to the vet when they’re in need

• Forcing a dog to be in a situation they’re uncomfortable in e.g. a busy pub

• Not feeding a dog an appropriate diet

• Frequently losing your temper and yelling at your dog

FAQ / People Also Ask

• What should I do if I see a dog being mistreated? 

This depends on the severity of the mistreatment. In situations where the dog is in immediate danger or being severely mistreated, contact the police or the RSPCA (England and Wales), SSPCA (Scotland), or USPCA (Northern Ireland). For unintentional mistreatment that affects the dog’s quality of life, consider having a careful conversation with their human.

• Is it illegal to mistreat a dog in the UK?

Yes. The Animal Welfare Act 2006 protects animals in the UK by legally binding pet parents to taking reasonable steps to ensure that their pet is housed in a suitable environment, allowed to exhibit normal behaviours, fed a suitable diet, and protected from pain, suffering, injury, and disease.

• How do I report dog cruelty in the UK? 

Report dog cruelty to the RSPCA (England and Wales), SSPCA (Scotland), or USPCA (Northern Ireland), or call the police or a local dog warden (dog warden details for your area can be found on Google).

• What counts as mistreating a dog? 

Mistreatment isn’t always life-threatening, but it can severely impact a dog’s quality of life. Not providing your dog with a proper diet, not feeding them enough, barely walking them, leaving them at home alone too long, forcing them to hang out at a busy pub when they’re clearly scared – this can all count as mistreatment, even if it’s unintentional.