Why Do Cats Meow When You Talk to Them?
Are they really communicating with you or is it just a game?
My foster cat Akela is a real talker. Meow, meow, meow all day long — especially if I talk to her first. Then the back-and-forth can last a surprisingly long time — minutes, even. True, her vocabulary is limited, but she’s deeply engaged and always insists on having the last word. If I want silence, I have to either pick her up and give her a snuggle or just walk away entirely. She’s so responsive, in fact, that sometimes it feels like she truly understands me — like we’re actually having a conversation. But is she really talking back, or just making noise?
Why do cats meow in the first place?
If you’ve ever spent significant time around multiple cats, you’ve probably noticed they rarely meow at each other. Cats communicate, of course, but meowing isn’t their go-to method for feline-to-feline interaction.
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“Meows are usually reserved for communicating with people,” says Marilyn Krieger, certified cat behavior consultant at The Cat Coachopens in new tab. Cats use other means to communicate with each other — scent, body language, and subtle vocalizations — but humans are notoriously bad at picking up on these more nuanced signals. Cats have learned that if they want to engage a person, they need to meow.
It’s a learned behavior from kittenhood, when they meowed at their mothers for food, comfort, and attention. Once their mothers are gone, humans become the providers of these needs — so the meowing gets redirected toward us.
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“This is why we tend to view our relationship with them as somewhat maternal,” says Stephen Quandt, certified feline training and behavior specialist at Cat Behavior Helpopens in new tab. “It’s not that cats think of us as their mothers, but because we provide many of the same things, they treat us similarly — by meowing, purring, rubbing against us, and even making biscuits on our bellies just like they did with mom.”
That doesn’t mean cats never meow at each other. But, as Quandt explains, “the standard meow is generally thought to mean I want something, and other adult cats are not really in a position to give them anything.” Another cat might offer play or companionship, but food, safety, and affection come from us. And if a cat wants something from another cat — like play or cuddles — they have other ways to communicate that, usually without meowing at all.
Why do cats meow when we talk to them?
If your cat meows back when you talk to them, it’s probably because you’ve trained them to — whether you meant to or not. Cats are social learners, picking up behaviors through observation and imitation. If they get attention when they meow at you, they’ll learn that meowing gets results. Attention becomes their reward, and they’ll keep doing it until they get what they want.
“It’s more like a call-and-response game than an actual conversation,” says Quandt. The more often you play that game, the more your cat will use meowing as a way to engage with you.
“The consequences of a behavior predict if that behavior will be repeated,” adds Krieger. “Cats learn that if a person talks to them and they answer, that person will reinforce them with attention and love. I had a cat named Maulee that I would sing to — I made up a song just for her. When I hesitated at specific spots in the song, she would [fill the silence] with chirps and meows. And I would reinforce [this behavior] by giving her more attention.”
What meowing isn’t
Despite what certain viralopens in new tab TikTok creators might suggest, meows do not have fixed meanings. Meowing isn’t a language like English, French, or Japanese. There’s no syntax, grammar, or defined vocabulary. Those videos where someone meows in a specific pattern to get a cat to respond a certain way are usually either edited or the result of highly specific training.
“There are tonal shifts from one meow to another that can indicate if a cat is feeling contented, surprised, or wants something like dinner,” says Quandt. “But tonal shifts aren’t the same as vocabulary.”
Besides, all cats meow differently. If there were some universal “meow language,” we’d see more consistency from cat to cat — and they’d probably meow at each other more often than they do.
Even if cats could develop a meow-based language, they don’t need one. Their needs are simple: food, safety, affection, and play. And they already get these things quite effectively without complex speech.
When meowing could indicate a problem
Cats are creatures of habit, so a sudden change in vocalization — either an increase or decrease — can signal that something’s wrong.
“People need to pay attention whenever there are changes in behavior and/or vocalizations,” says Krieger. “A visit to the vet may be necessary to rule out any possible medical conditions.”
If your formerly quiet cat is suddenly very vocal, or your chatty cat goes silent, it’s worth paying attention. Excessive meowing can also be a sign of anxiety, boredom, or cognitive decline in older cats.
Encouraging more (or less) meowing in your cat
Cats meow because we reinforce the behavior by responding with attention, affection, or food.
If you want your cat to be more talkative, reward them each time they meow at you — pet them, talk back, or give them a treat. Before long, you’ll have one of the chattiest cats in the neighborhood.
If you’d rather your cat meow less, you’ll need to do the opposite: ignore the meowing and reward the silences. This can be easier said than done — especially when your cat is yowling for dinner and all you want is peace and quiet. But if you feed them while they’re still meowing, you teach them that meowing works. Wait until they’re quiet, then feed them.
That said, if your cat is meowing excessively, consider whether their needs are being met. Ask yourself:
Am I playing with them enough?
Are they getting enough food and at consistent times so they don’t have to wonder when their next meal is coming?
Am I giving them enough affection and enrichment?
Cats thrive on routine. When that structure is missing, they often become more vocal — their way of saying, “Hey, something’s off here!”
If you want your cat to meow less, you may need to adjust your own behavior first. Never punish a cat for meowing. It’s ineffective and can seriously damage your relationship. Your cat depends entirely on you for their wellbeing, and meowing is one of the few tools they have to communicate their needs. If you don’t want them to use that tool, make sure their needs are already met.
It’s also worth remembering that some cats are naturally more vocal than others. “Siamese and Bengal cats are famous talkers,” says Krieger. “They have lots to say. It’s harder to train natural vocalizers to be quiet, and it can actually stress them if they’re not allowed to express themselves.”
If you’re considering adopting a cat and prefer a quieter companion, do your homework. Learn about the breed and the individual cat’s temperament. Talk to the shelter or foster parent, and spend some time with the cat before you commit. If a cat is a natural chatterbox and that’s going to bother you, it’s better to find one that’s more reserved.
And if you do end up with a talker — a cat who greets you every morning with a chorus of meows and chirps, who insists on keeping up their side of the conversation — try to appreciate it for what it is. Your cat may not be speaking your language, but they are speaking to you. Every meow is a small act of connection, a reminder that this little creature sees you, trusts you, and has chosen to share their voice with you.
