8 Signs Your Dog Thinks They’re in Charge of the House

You think you’ve seen all the signs: your dog lounging on your furniture, taking up your side of the bed, refusing to eat anything but the most gourmet meals. To you, it seems like your dog is walking all over you, and maybe you’re letting them. Dog trainer and founder of Lavender Garden Animal Services Sian Lawley-Rudd says that, while it might seem as if your dog thinks they’re the boss, this behavior could signal something different: “When dogs look like they’re ‘in charge’, it’s usually not about trying to dominate anyone, it’s more about uncertainty, unmet needs, or behavior that’s been reinforced without us realizing.”

While these behaviors can be annoying, they can also be a sign of deeper issues. Lawley-Rudd says that dogs feel like they have to manage everything when they don’t have enough guidance, structure or safety from their humans. This can then become a welfare concern, particularly if they’re hypervigilant or overwhelmed: “It’s absolutely fine for dogs to have autonomy, choosing where to sleep, sniffing on walks, opting out of interactions, as long as they feel safe and supported.”

Dog trainer and founder of Dog Virtuoso Ivan Petersel says that it’s essential for both of you to get your dog to relax if they appear to be trying to dominate the house. You can reestablish yourself without crushing your dog’s personality by consistently refusing to reward their pushy behavior. One tip Petersel offers is to leave and return home calmly. “I greet the dog only when they’re calm, even if it’s just for 5 seconds,” says Petersel. He says that by rewarding positive and relaxed states of mind, your dog will stop exhibiting these “dominant” seeming behaviors. 

We’ve broken down 8 signs that your dog thinks they’re in charge of the house. If you notice them, you can work on figuring out what your dog’s unmet needs are and helping them to relax.

They constantly solicit affection

If your dog constantly seeks affection from you, by pawing, barking, licking or climbing all over you, it can appear adorable. In fact, you might even secretly want it. However, it can be a sign of deeper issues. “Pushing for attention constantly is usually a sign they struggle to self-regulate or switch off,” says Lawley-Rudd. You shouldn’t give into their demands instantly, no matter how hard it is. Instead, let them try to self-regulate before you go in with the fuss.

They protest when they’re not allowed on furniture

No matter how many times you tell them, some dogs are insistent about getting on the couch, bed, or other furniture that you’ve worked hard to keep them off. Some might even get aggressive when they’re moved. This behavior might make it seem as if they think they’re the boss, but there are ways to reinforce it. Lawley-Rudd says that clear, consistent routines are the best way to make a dog feel secure and supported enough that they don’t act out. In this case, that means either never letting them on the couch, or letting them all the time.

They jump on guests

Petersel says that jumping on guests is an instantly recognizable sign of demanding and self-rewarding behavior. It can be annoying, but at the same time, Petersel believes that dogs don’t really like to be in that mental state either. You can prevent this behavior without crushing your dog’s spirit by insisting that your guests don’t reward it. Once a dog realizes that they won’t get any fuss until they calm down, they’re likely to learn to remain calm when the doorbell rings.

They whine, bark and demand

A key sign of a dog who thinks they run things is they whine and demand attention incessantly. “They behave like a dog who was never shown boundaries, never learned self-regulation, and was allowed to practice a ton of self-rewarding behavior,” he says. Often, they do this because the humans around them give up, either out of annoyance or because they think the behavior is cute. The dog then learns to push harder, and the negative action is reinforced. Instead, you can’t ever give in to their demands, no matter how hard it is. 

 They’re aggressive to other pets in the house

You need to watch out for dogs who insist on controlling all interactions with other pets and visitors, says Lawley-Rudd: “Often a sign of over-arousal, fear, or that the dog feels pressured to manage the environment themselves. “This can also manifest in aggression to other pets or even people in the house. This kind of behavior can be quite serious, and might require additional training or support from an expert. 

They ignore cues

If your dog ignores cues, it might appear as if they’re trying to dominate and that they don’t think they need to do as you say. Often, says Lawley-Rudd, it isn’t actually stubbornness. It could be confusion, stress or distraction. In some cases, it’s simply that the behavior hasn’t been practiced in real-life environments. If this is the case, you need to be consistent and make sure you’re teaching them the cues in all situations.

They resource guard

If you’ve noticed that your dog resource guards things like their toys and food, Lawley-Rudd says that it’s often a sign of insecurity, anxiety, and past traumas making them feel like they need to protect things. Petersel says that you can tackle this behavior with “semi-structured” access to things like toys. “This teaches dogs that fun comes through you, not self-rewarding behavior,” he says. By doing this, you can reassert that you will always share resources and that they don’t need to hoard them. 

They make all the decisions on walks

This kind of behavior doesn’t solely take place at home, but everywhere that you and your dog spend time together. If your dog makes all the decisions on walks and seems to struggle to focus, Lawley-Rudd says that this might appear as if they think they’re in charge but can be a sign they don’t feel safe. If your dog acts like this, you may need to work with a trainer to establish the best way to walk together so that everyone feels supported.