Is It Okay to Adopt a Dog Who Looks Like Your Dog Who’s Passed?

In 2007, Hilary Reiter Azzaretti’s 4-year-old black Lab mix Buckley unexpectedly passed away in his sleep. 

“He was my first dog as an adult, and the devastation was unbearable,” says Azzaretti, who lives in Park City, Utah. “I was hysterical and literally sick to my stomach. The only thing that got me to stop crying was a week later, I rescued a very similar-looking dog I found on Petfinder.” 

That dog, Jackson, “rescued me more than I rescued him,” Azzaretti says. “I truly believe this is why Jackson lived to the ripe old age of 16. Everyone is different, so this approach may not work for others, but it truly did for me.” 

Katy Brink understands what it’s like to be heartbroken by the loss of a pup. 

When her dogs Norman and Sasha passed away within months of each other from cancer in 2023, she and her husband Collin were devastated. 

“Our entire marriage had been with this family of dogs, and it was so much a part of our every day. We planned our lives around them,” says Brink, who lives in upstate New York. “So to not have that, it was really kind of a scary and sad unknown. It just felt very empty.” 

Then one day while she was out walking, Brink ran into a Jindo puppy who looked like Norman. “This guy had just adopted him, and he was just like this little light,” she says. “He was so adorable, and he reminded me so much of Norman.” 

Brink soon saw an adoptable dog named Jake online, who was “perfect” and reminded her and Collin of Norman. Even though Jake was more than 800 miles away in Atlanta, they were all in and soon discovered Jake and Norman even had some similar personality quirks.   

“Norman used to go out in the middle of the yard and just sit perfectly still and look, and [Jake] does the exact same thing,” Brink says. “They both have very, like, independent but very loyal natures.”  

But the family still wasn’t complete. “We knew that we wanted to rescue a[nother] Pit Bull,” Brink says. “It was just a good way to honor Sasha.” 

So, they welcomed Lola, a tan-colored Pittie (like Sasha), to the family. 

“I thought, like, maybe this is a little weird, but also, these are wonderful dogs who need a home, and we can provide that,” Brink says. “I did worry that I wouldn't love [Jake and Lola] as much, and maybe it would be worse if they looked similar [to Norman and Sasha]. But, you know, I love them as much.” 

Brink and her husband definitely adopted with the expectation that their new family members were their own individuals—and they didn’t expect them to mirror the personalities and behaviors of their former dogs.  

Azzaretti also accepted her new dog as he was. 

But is it a healthy idea for everyone?

When it’s healthy to adopt your dog’s doppelgänger

First off, it’s important to back up and acknowledge: Grief sucks, and pet grief can be just as difficult as any other grief. 

“The grief experienced after the loss of a pet can be as intense and substantial as losing a human family member,” says Caitlyn McClure, a licensed social worker and the president of clinical services at Northern Illinois Recovery. “I see people struggling with sleep, appetite, concentration, and waves of guilt and sadness. It is a natural response to losing a significant bond.” 

So, when you’re feeling heartbroken and overwhelmed, it might be natural to start dreaming of a new pup—not to take your former dog’s place, but as a new companion to spend time with. And there’s nothing inherently wrong with adopting a dog who looks like your pup who’s passed away, experts say. 

“It’s natural to feel drawn to an animal who resembles a pet who felt like a soul mate,” says TB Thompson, a veterinarian at Natural Pets HQ. “The key is asking whether you’re ready to accept a look-alike who will almost certainly act differently.” 

However, this can get tricky when the new pet behaves differently from the one who passed, Dr. Thompson says. “For example, someone may lose a calm senior dog and then bring home a puppy who looks similar but delivers nonstop zoomies,” Dr. Thompson explains. “The mismatch can create frustration or disappointment, not because the new dog is wrong, but because grief shapes expectations in ways people may not recognize.”

McClure had a client who adopted a “near twin” of her previous dog just a month after the loss. 

“Under stress, our brains seek out what is already familiar…so it makes psychological sense,” McClure says. 

But instead of feeling over the moon, her client was “angry” for her loss and “guilty” for adopting a new dog so soon.  

“At first, she was constantly comparing everything,” McClure says. “With time and therapy, she set up a small memorial to the first dog at her apartment and described the new dog as a different friend, not a replacement. Her bond with the new dog developed only after this shift.” 

McClure says that’s why setting expectations is important. 

“Adopting a dog that looks like your previous one can be healthy, as long as you have realistic expectations,” says McClure. “The risk in such a situation would be treating the new pet as a carbon copy of the previous one rather than an independent animal with their own history and temperament.”  

There are also people who are just drawn to certain breeds or types of dogs, and that can play into your choice too. What’s more, it’s totally normal, says Faith Banks, a palliative veterinarian in Toronto. She’s currently a dog mom to a Chihuahua named Puddy and a Bernese Mountain Dog named Alfie—and it’s a canine combo she’s had before. 

“I love Chihuahuas, and I love Bernese Mountain Dogs, and so I feel like we'll always have a Bernese Mountain Dog and a Chihuahua; they're just a great combination,” she says.   

Most importantly, when she looks at her past dogs and current dogs, she sees individuals: “If I think about each of them, they were all so different, like even how they look. If you showed me a picture of each, I know which one is which,” she says. “Honestly, they're very similar, but to me, they look so different, and their personalities are different.” 

In fact, a lot of people might have a breed preference—and almost all are easy to find at your local shelter or rescue (even purebred or “hypoallergenic” dogs).  

“I don't think it's bad at all [to adopt a similar dog],” she adds. “Lots of people, they'll get Golden Retriever after Golden Retriever because they love the lifestyle and the personality of a Golden Retriever.” 

When it’s not OK to adopt a dog doppelgänger 

“It is unreasonable and irrational to believe that a pet that looks like your former pet will have any of the same personality traits or behaviors that you fell in love with,” says jme thomas, the executive director of Motley Zoo Animal Rescue, a foster-based rescue in Washington state. 

Consider people who have even cloned their dogs— not ethically advisable, by the way—and expected them to be the same, only to find that they had completely different personalities. 

Cloning can reproduce the physical attributes of a pet but not their individual quirks. Plus, it costs thousands of dollars and doesn’t do anything to stem the growing pet overpopulation problem. 

“The chances that the new pet will be like them in anything other than looks is exceptionally unrealistic, and this may actually lead to disruptive dissonance in your relationship with the new pet, as well as muddle the good memories you have of your former,” thomas says. “Giving the new pet the responsibilities of being like one that has passed puts an impossible job on an innocent animal.”

thomas has worked with adopters who wanted to find an animal who looked like their recently deceased pet—even when the behavior and lifestyle were not a match. 

One pet parent was intent on adopting a Lab who resembled her Lab who had passed away, even though her other dogs were reactive toward the new animal. 

“Not only were we concerned that the new dog would be subjected to hostility or aggression on the part of that dog, but it was clear to us that the current dog did not like the new candidate,” she says. “In her grief, this woman…did not want to see or hear the realities of the match.” 

In a very cute twist, though, thomas also helped a senior man who had had a string of female yellow Labs his whole life—all named Amy. 

“He couldn't bear the thought of losing a dog, so he just perpetuated a single, female yellow Lab over the years,” she says. “Our dog was Amy number 6 or 7…but rather than having expectations that our Amy would behave like the last, he simply had a collective memory of one dog where he placed all the best aspects of each into this one entity in his mind. While it seemed a bit unusual to us, we did not feel this would interfere with his ability to love and care for this dog.”

How soon should you adopt a new look-alike (or not) bestie? 

Now that you know that it’s OK to adopt your dog’s look-alike, you might wonder how soon is too soon. The truth is that it’s never too early to bring home a new dog—as long as you feel good about it. 

And if you’re browsing online and thinking of adopting a new family member, chances are, you might be ready now. “If you are able to say, ‘This is a new relationship’ and you can think of your deceased dog with fond memories as well as sadness, then you are likely ready,” McClure says. “It protects you as well as the animal you bring home.” 

Before you bring any new dog home, though, make sure you’re a good fit for each other. “Think through what traits truly matter, such as energy level, social needs, or lifestyle fit,” says Erin Askeland, a certified dog trainer and behavior consultant at Camp Bow Wow. “Spend time observing the new dog with a beginner’s mindset and no expectations. Let the dog’s personality unfold without comparison. This creates space to form an authentic bond and protects the dog (and you!) from unfair pressure.” 

Brink was worried she wouldn’t love her newly adopted dogs as much, but she found that just wasn’t true. 

“You definitely are not going to replace, like, all their little quirks that you’ve come to love over the years, but then you get to discover the new things about them,” Brink says. “You can have more than one soul dog.” 

Askeland seconds this. “Grief does not disappear because a new dog arrives, so giving yourself permission to miss your former dog while also celebrating the new one sets everyone up for success,” she says. 

Azzaretti, who adopted the black Lab after hers passed away, says that adopting another dog helped her heal her grief in a way that she might not have been able to otherwise. 

“Jackson rescued me in the sense that bringing him home stopped the tears and relieved the pit I had in my stomach for a week,” Azzaretti says. “At the time, it must have mattered that he looked like [my old dog] Buckley, but in retrospect, any great dog would have helped me cope.”