What is ‘Social Referencing’ and Why Is Your Dog So Good at It?

Maybe this sounds familiar: You show up to your friend’s game night or trivia or movie marathon, ready to settle into some safe socialization with people you know and see on a regular basis. And then, boom: A new person enters the room. You don’t know them, and it changes the dynamic of the entire space. You look around at your pals, trying to get a sense for how everyone feels about this new addition. If they seem happy and chill, you settle in and this change suddenly isn’t so weird.

According to research, this kind of instinctive behavior starts very early. Infants in particular look toward their parents and other caregivers to decide whether to feel positively or negatively about certain situations and objects. Eventually, we pretty much learn to figure things out on our own, though we may look to our friends or family for confirmation sometimes. This is called “social referencing,” aka looking to a trusted source to get a sense of how you should react to a situation.

Pups — they’re like us.

Social referencing isn’t unique to humans; it turns out that our dogs do it, too. If you live with a dog, you’ve probably noticed that they are extremely attuned to your feelings. Whether you are happy, sad or angry, your dog will likely pick up on this faster than the other humans in the room. They look to you to see what you’re feeling, and it informs how they should feel, too.

When we engage in social referencing, we’re using someone else’s emotional state as a guide to tell us how to react to a new situation, person, or object. We’re seeking guidance from others, particularly those we trust, like our parents or friends.

When dogs engage in social referencing, they’re doing the exact same thing. They will look from you, their trusted parent, toward the “object of concern,” such as a new dog or an object like a car or a vacuum cleaner. If they don’t immediately decide the vacuum cleaner is an enemy to be destroyed, like many dogs do, they’ll look to you to affirm whether they should be scared or calm about the situation. How you react will then determine what they do next and often how they feel about it going forward.

They’re incredibly sensitive, and they aren’t just relying on obvious cues like whether you’re smiling, crying, or shouting. In fact, they can smell the chemical changes that occur when we feel different emotions. They can also instinctively pick up on minuscule changes in how we speak; our volume, tone or pitch can all indicate to a dog exactly what we’re feeling. They can even match our facial expressions to the corresponding tone.

This skill informs how they navigate the world.

Paula O’Sullivan is a dog behaviorist who is particularly interested in the communication between dogs and their parents. She says that, in the world of canine behavior, social referencing is a key concept.

“It describes how dogs look to their human companions — or even other dogs — to gauge how to react in uncertain situations,” she says. “Much like a child taking cues from a parent, dogs ‘read the room’ by watching our facial expressions and body language.”

However, O’Sullivan says, it doesn’t stop there. “Dogs also engage in emotional mirroring, picking up on our feelings not just through our expressions and body language, but tone of voice and even through scent, sensing shifts in cortisol levels when we’re stressed,” she says. “This makes them remarkably attuned to our emotional state, even if we think we are masking it.”

When we are with other people, if we’re upset and trying to hide it, we can often put on a smile and lie. Our dogs, however, are more tuned into the wavelengths of our emotional states, and it’s impossible to hide anything from them. That’s why it’s so important to try not to show anger if they do something wrong. They’re conscious of every tiny change in your mood and voice, and you need to stay calm to avoid upsetting them.

When you come across something new, such as a new dog or animal, for example, there are many ways that your dog will look to you to ascertain how to feel about the situation. Often, dogs can even feel tension through the leash, O’Sullivan says. If you are stressed or anxious about something that you see on a walk, you may wrap the leash around your hand and grip it tightly. That physical tension can then travel down the tether, signaling to the dog that something might be amiss.

“Altogether, it’s a fascinating blend of subtle cues that our dogs are constantly interpreting to navigate the world around them,” O’Sullivan says.

How they react depends on your specific dog.

While all dogs may engage in social referencing to some degree, some actually do this more than others. This study shows that certain breeds will look to their parent; herding dogs take part in social referencing and behave less independently, while others might not do it at all. Sex also has an impact; researchers observed that female dogs look to their parents to decide how they feel about certain situations and objects more than males.

It’s likely that the individual personality of the dog also has an impact. If you have a particularly dependent, clingy, “Velcro” pup who relies on you for everything, they’re probably going to trust your opinion. They need to see your reaction to a newcomer so they know how to react. However, if you have a headstrong, independent dog, they might not need as much input.

Social referencing is just another reminder of how important we are to our dogs’ lives. As much as they do for us, we are their eyes and ears in the world. We show them what’s scary, what’s fun, and whom we can trust. That level of dependence is an honor, and we can pay them back by making them feel safe.